How to Find Inner Peace with the Enemy

By Jafree Ozwald

“Immature love says, “I love you because I need you,” while mature love says, “I need you because I love you.” ~Unknown

You may have been fortunate enough to meet someone in life who constantly triggers you. Unknowingly, they push some hidden secret button that instantly launches inside you a state of anger, hurt, blame, or fear, where you turn into a frightened little mouse, or a fire-breathing dragon.

This person could be your lover, best friend, mother, father, sister, brother, or neighbor across the street. It could also be an impersonal figure on TV, a political party, a work competitor, or perhaps a group of unjustified “terrorists” you’ve never met, in a country you’ve never visited. Anyone who can set you off balance where your sense of inner peace is instantly lost is your greatest teacher and has a powerful enlightening lesson to give you.

The enlightened master Jesus spoke often about learning how to love thy enemy. This may be the greatest challenge humanity has ever come across because we simply have forgotten one key ingredient. The real enemy is not ‘out there’ yet within our minds. So the most important question we can ask ourselves is how do we love ourselves unconditionally. This is the essential teaching that will immediately catapult your life into the deepest levels of inner peace and the highest vibration of consciousness.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

When you embrace those unloveable parts which you absolutely cannot talk about, and love that part that still feels deeply wounded by your past, your life takes on truly profound meaning and mission. You discover profound freedom, limitless joy, and eternal lightness inside you. This inner joy cannot and will not ever be disturbed by anything or anyone. No matter what negativity anyone throws at you, it cannot hurt you.

When there is a wellspring of self-love inside you, it radiates an infectious sensitivity brimming with kindness, self-forgiveness, and compassion. This energy is more powerful and contagious than any negative remark. When self-compassion is already playing its sweet healing music inside you, no negative energy of this world can touch you. Instead, you touch them and teach them the power and liberation of self-love.

The amount of energy you lose in judging yourself is extremely draining and unnecessary. Whenever you separate yourself from love, a shift happens inside your mind. Suddenly you believe that you’re separate from God, which creates the deepest separation within yourself.

We always become that which we cannot embrace, so no matter how small the self-judgment may be, that one little thing that you just cannot accept becomes the master over you. We only create enemies in the outer world because there is something we don’t want to see inside ourselves. Once we love this part inside, then the whole outer world reflects that perfection back to us. The universe is all set up sooooo perfectly for us to become enlightened.

“All the greatest treasures are hidden behind that which we wouldn’t want to be with.” ~Pamela Wilson

Perhaps your belief system is not set 100% in stone. Just maybe your mind is yours to create, imagine, and decide to manifest however you want it to be. Meaning, if you are upset and often triggered by your partner because they are a control freak, you are rejecting some part of yourself that is trying to always be in control, or not okay with feeling a lack of control.

Our issues are always in our tissues, and these programs usually date to childhood traumas and dramas, or perhaps many lifetimes ago. They can be so ingrained that you may be willing to get divorced, fired, or even choose to leave the country, instead of choosing to have compassion for this person and change your reaction to come from love.

A little trick you can do the moment you feel yourself being stepped on, or triggered by someone else, is to step back emotionally, mentally, and/or physically. Consciously moving back even a few extra centimeters to give you space, can be enough for you to shift into a more expanded perspective and understanding. If you’re in a car and have no place to move, just take one deep breath and imagine that your energy is as vast, and expansive, as the entire sky.

Experiment with what it’s like to listen to this person from a higher sky-like perspective, where you see the experience from a cosmic or worldview level. From here, you can imagine the radical, and super-sacred lesson, this person is unconsciously attempting to teach you. It’s often a lesson that will empower, enlighten, and redefine you, in a way you’ve never known yourself before.

We judge others because we don’t understand how powerful we truly are. Once you see, that you are a soul who is on an infinite journey through time and space for eternity, you will be kind and compassionate to everyone, because you will see them again and again. You cannot escape from this Universe, or the spiritual lessons it’s going to teach you. You can pretend you are above it all, yet if you have any level of inner conflict inside yourself, with anyone, you haven’t yet mastered what you came here to learn.

If you decide that you need to divorce your partner {name}, you will get a second chance (at some point) to learn the same lessons with the next lover. The lesson always has something to do with love, forgiveness, trust, healing an old wound, and/or opening your mind to a more expansive viewpoint, of who you are.

Learning this sacred lesson of how to find inner peace now will empower and liberate you much more than waiting till later. With a spiritual perspective, you can find deep inner peace inside yourself the next time your partner does or says that one little thing, that drives you bonkers.

“The moment you start seeing life as non-serious, a playfulness, all the burden on your heart disappears. All the fear of death, of life, of love – everything disappears. One starts living with a very lightweight or almost no weight. So weightless one becomes, one can fly in the open sky.” ~Osho

It’s important to understand your mind can make anybody into your best friend, or worst foe. Until the mind has realized the truth of who you really are, it will continue to judge and make assumptions that are not true. You won’t be able to bask in the infinite bliss of inner peace until you drop all of your judgments, demands, and assumptions. Loving your enemy starts and ends with understanding your wounds, belief systems, and childhood conditioning.

Through listening deeply to what your enemy is feeling, behind their words, you can see why they are exactly the way they are. The next time they trigger you, you will react less, and have more compassion instead, because you understand their core wounding. Compassion naturally arises when you know the depth of pain the other is holding inside.

When you see that your enemy is doing their best in life with the resources and information they’ve been fed and that you would be just like them if you were born in their mother’s womb, you will learn how to relax, and let go. The more sensitive you are to their experiences of life, and the deep challenges they face every day, the more detached you become from your ego’s point of view and can find a place for them in your heart.

Devote yourself to living in a constant state of compassion. You will find a warm light glows inside you, and a joyous, freeing feeling surfaces, with everyone you encounter. You can discover that who you are IS the source of love. This is the sacred secret to expanding your energy and becoming the most contagious, empowering, magnetic manifesting experience in your Universe.

“Turn within and you will become free and liberated because it’s all a dream.” ~Robert Adams

We are all in this life together. No one is separate from the other as each unique part affects and creates the whole. With 8 billion people on this planet, you’re going to encounter 8 billion different belief systems, which will not always agree with each other about everything. So to get along with everyone here, the secret is learning how to accept the parts you cannot change, and change the parts you can. It’s about moving beyond your belief system and unraveling this defensive protective ego.

Whenever your ego projects blame or shame on another, know that this is always a strategy to distract you from looking at yourself. When pointing your finger outwards, you don’t have to point it within. You can avoid feeling your pain, and believe they are wrong.

You don’t have to do the inner healing work that would transform your own life. If your ego could look deeper inside, into your past, you’ll notice there is a pattern here, where your first judgment started and continued. It is in this initial reaction that you’ll discover the key that unlocks the door to your finding the ultimate state of freedom.

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