How to Heal Self Hate

Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. — Louise L. Hay,

Written by Jafree Ozwald

  • What is self hate?
  • Reasons why we hate ourselves
  • How to shift away from self abuse
  • How to stop addiction
  • How to start responding consciously
  • How to ask for help
  • How to commit to self love

The following healing exercise I’m about to show you is by far the fastest, most effective, life transforming technique for self hate that I’ve come across in the past 25+ years of exploring healing modalities. This is the most empowering self-healing experience you’ll ever find that will create balance, equanimity, deep inner peace with everyone in your life.

Depending on how much resistance to healing you have, and how deeply wounded you already are, it can take a few minutes, hours or weeks to feel the effects of this healing technique. Each time you practice doing it, more clarity will come, deeper understanding and completion with the past will settle into you. Soon you can experience one of the highest levels of inner peace, self love and emotional freedom in your life that you have ever had.

The deeper a trees roots dig down into the dark murky soil, the higher its branches can extend into the sky above. As you learn how to meet with these painful roots of your past wounds, feeling the negative beliefs about yourself, and the traumatic issues that you have experienced, your heart can become more sensitive to experiencing the highest levels of joy, love, and consciousness. The goal here is not to get it realigned and identified with the pain again, yet to remain deeply curious, and explore yourself with pure innocence, acceptance and vulnerability.

The secret to beginning healing yourself, is to first be totally honest, authentic and transparent with you. This honesty will initially bring up any unhappiness hidden inside yourself, yet to purge it out of your system we need to bring it into the light of awareness.

Stop hating on yourself for not being perfect. If God wanted perfection, He would have made you an angel. ~Yasmin Mogahed

The first thing you’ll want to do is make a list of whatever judgments you have about you. Include any assumptions about yourself, past core beliefs, projections, that you took on from your mom, dad, siblings, friends, enemies and society. Write down any belief that you have about yourself which is still causing you pain.

For example, you may have inherited a negative belief from your mother that sounds like, “I am never good enough at xyz” Perhaps also there’s someone who is close to you, who you deeply care about their opinions you, and you have formed beliefs about yourself based on how they think you are.

You may recall a memory from childhood where you said deeply to yourself, “They think that I am untrustworthy, and I respect this person, so I also believe that I am untrustworthy too.” Write down any ideas that come to you which define you as someone who is less than divine.

The next step is to be vulnerable with the emotional pain in your body. If you believe that you are not a trustworthy person, if you were that sensation shows up in your body.

Start with breathing slowly and deeply into the bodily sensations, being open and spacious like the sky, and yet grounded with its roots in the pain until it shifts.

The next step is to track where your negative self judgment is being projected onto everybody else in your life. Notice how you made them responsible for your self hate, and could take more responsibility for how you feel inside. Your task below here is to feel into this projected pain by replacing your name with theirs.

So for example you would say, “My mom disapproves of me because of xyz…” then you would take responsibility for that guilt, shame or self hate pain that you are putting on yourself, and completely remove your mom from being responsible for creating this pain for you.

This is taking your power back to heal you! It means that you stop blaming the outer world for your inner experience. This step is taking full 100% ownership of the voices in your head that you are regurgitating, and making others responsible for how horrible you feel.

In this process, you want breathe into each self judgment slowly and stick with one at a time for as long as you can with deep vulnerability, until you feel the heavy stuck energy shifting out of your body.

Do not move onto another self judgment until you have felt a spaciousness or non-attachment to the one you are clearing.

When you were doing this deep dark inner work it is imperative that you do not align with any negative belief, thinking that it is “the truth”. this healing process is about a deeper vulnerability with you.

Allowing yourself to feel the painful sensations as they are inside of you. By breathing into where each one shows up in your body with vulnerability, it will begin to change.

If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago. ~Cheri Huber

Notice whatever old memories arise for you with each self judgment you have. Do not align with its sabotaging story that caused you pain. Again…your goal here is simply being deeply vulnerable with judgmental part of you, until all that stuck energy is freed up.

Feel the negativity you still have towards anyone in your past and own it! Be vulnerable with the feeling until it has been completely released from your body.

Do not align with or agree with any judgmental belief, it’s all about understanding that who and what you are, is sooooo much more than any one thought. Once you distance yourself from the judgment and see the judgment as just another thought, then instantly the energy begins releasing from your body.

Its important to be willing to allow any painful memories to rise and be released. Find out what feelings you avoid, and what beliefs are still trapped inside you causing you pain today. If any emotionally stuck energy is felt anywhere in your body, then you know there is more healing work to be done and there are more issues in your tissues to be released.

It’s good to know that a massive amount of our subconscious energy is often tied up in keeping unconscious core wounding and traumatic feelings far away. It can be very challenging for us to access painful emotions inside because there’s many layers of protection and resistance to feeling them.

We feel that we wouldn’t be able to function as successful people in the world if we were constantly upset and triggered. Yet, the real truth is that if we cannot be vulnerable to fully FEEL our pain, it never has the chance to move out of our system.

If we don’t feel the Source of these triggers, we cannot clear them, and they will continually keep us operating at the bare minimum level of love, joy and gratitude in our lives.

Self-hatred is self-imprisonment. Self-forgiveness is self-liberation. You have the right to suppress yourself, oppress yourself and depress yourself. You have the right to impress yourself too. Feel happy. — Israelmore Ayivor

if you do not feel like you have any judgments or self-hate inside, yet or constantly judging others in the world around you, I have a fun little exercise for you to explore. My biggest enlightening secret for locating your core wounding is this…

Start with the beings who created you, who raised you and programmed you from the very beginning and make the time to consciously judge your parents and write those sentences down.

Why should we consciously judge others?

On the deepest spiritual level, there is only one Self and there are no others on the “outside”. Yet to arrive at the deepest level of spiritual understanding, we must first become clear about what is blocking the way… our judgments of others.

When we were little kids, the judgments that we formed about our parents basically have been projected onto ourselves and everyone else throughout our entire lives. Yet we are often deeply unaware of how these patterns are still running the show.

By judging your mom and dad you’re bringing awareness to the judgmental systems that already exist deep within your being. Once you are aware of one, you can step through it and liberate yourself from its eternal grasp on you.

Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others — it only changes yours. — Shannon L. Alder,

So the goal here is to judge mom and dad for anything that you can think of. Write each judgment down, and then flip each statement so that it reflects on you by saying “Just like me!”

So for example using “Just like me” with the judgment, “Mom is a narcissistic being who doesn’t really care about me” becomes “I am a narcissistic being who doesn’t really care about me.”

Again, feel into your vulnerability with each judgment and notice how the energy shifts as you show up differently in your body. Only with total presence, patience and vulnerability can you release the pain from your body forever.

Once they are released, the pain and negative judgmental pattern cannot return into your body ever again unless you start aligning with the belief or memory of the pain.


We can always generate fresh new pains anytime we are not conscious, vigilant or being sensitive to our own emotional body. The moment we align with a judgment it becomes trapped in our system and that pain then needs to be added to your list to be cleared.

After you have cleared a deep negative belief or childhood trauma from your body, notice how you feel. You should feel more relaxed, spacious, a quieter mind, and a sense of groundedness in your body.

You’ll experience more joy in life, being open with others, being alone with yourself and finding your connection with Divinity. The deepest most powerful healing transformations are often invisible, slow and subtle, yet their effects are long lasting and are deeply profound.

You’ll also notice how you suddenly stop reacting to certain negative people in your life who always could push your buttons. You sit back and watch how the same person and situation (which normally triggered you) now have zero impact on you anymore.

The more pain you shift out of your body each day, the more your body will normally feel lighter and freer. It will feel like there’s more space inside you to create the life of your dreams! Yes everyday you naturally feel more inspired because you have more space inside of you to manifest and attract anything you want. You will discover how your consciousness has more room to play, be creative and be in love with your life!

You’ll also have extra energy as well to be able to manifest all the things you desire to have, and the dreams you always wanted to achieve. You will start experience yourself as they vast unlimited spiritual being, and be able to step into your life purpose, experience your own Divinity, and truly access the 5th dimension which is available within you and the Universe.

SPECIAL NOTE: If you feel that you are unable to do this healing exercise above on your own and would like to experience a personal healing session with me over the phone, we can set up a time to experience my healing services at this link!

Enjoy your journey!

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