The 12 Secrets for Manifesting a
Sexual Spiritual Relationship

Deepen intimacy and spiritual connection with sacred sexuality. Discover the transformative power of sexual spiritual relationships through Tantra and consciousness practices.

Written by Jafree Ozwald

“If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves, rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will over a period of time cease to react at all.” ~Yogi Bajan

Share the following 12 steps with your partner and practice them consciously together for 3 weeks in a row. You will see a magical powerful transformation in your relationship. You can shift a potential divorce into a renewed deep tantric love again.

1. Your sexual partner is a sacred gift from God. They are a very deep spiritual sensitive being who is showing up as a feminine/masculine aspect of God for you to practice loving unconditionally. You are human so you won’t be able to do this perfectly, so you must focus on loving yourself mainly. This is a divine opportunity to experience the deepest love for yourself possible. Practice opening your heart deeper each day to yourself and letting that love spill over onto your partner. This way you can open your heart fully to God and to your life. The quality of your sexual connection all depends on the depth of your love and how real this connection is from the heart.

2. Challenging emotional issues will arise with your partner the more time you spend together. This is natural and to be expected. Your partner is a mirror just as everyone is your mirror. A reflection of the love, fear, hate, sadness and joy you have inside you from your past relationships. The people who are closest to you, who you’ve allowed to be emotionally intimate with, are the hardest mirror reflections to see because they reveal the deepest most hidden wounded parts of yourself that have been buried for lifetimes. Always remember that what you don’t like inside them is what you judge and cannot accept about yourself.

3. Always do your best to be gentle and loving with the cracks that you see in the mirror. If you become cold, distant and harsh you may put a bigger crack in it that breaks the loving connection of trust which is the most valuable thing in your relationship with this person. Always choose to be kind and loving with your mirror, as this allows you to feel good about yourself at the end of the day.

4. Don’t try to fix or change your partner, instead be gentle, honest and supportive. Try to be on their team! Your partner is an opportunity to see your own wounds up disconnected wounded angry orphaned inner child, and when can you bring this part home to God then they will open and surrender and worship the divine being you truly are.

5. Your main job in your relationship is to work on loving and healing the parts of yourself where you cannot love yourself. This is often where are you judge your partner and think they are most broken. When their emotional issues come up, it’s your big chance to be vulnerable, open up and surrender to where you both can create a deeper connection and find real healing.

6. Remember that every human being has deep childhood wounds. This is why we chose to be human. To heal our karmic wounds that are recreated here on earth so we can grow spiritually. The wound is where the Light can enter you and touch your soul on the deepest levels. Your wound is your deepest doorway to God.

7. Learn to sit with yourself and your projected ideas on your partner. You project thoughts and feelings onto them because you cannot feel your own wounds. Be with that which you cannot be with. Move through your shit, not around it as this is what will give you roots and wings. The more responsible you can become, the more empowered you will feel. The more that you can own it the easier it will be to deal with it and heal it.

8. Stop demanding that your partner changes or fixes their self. If they are constantly criticizing you can negating you, or emotionally harming you in anyway, tell them you need space from them tell your partner that you’re going to lovingly take some space for yourself. Do not threaten to abandon them if they do not change, as this is the demented demanding ego. This is not the hugest love. How would you feel if she did this to you? Forcing someone to change only hardens the surface, creating more protection from the other and resistance to opening their heart and their legs. Choose to have sacred respect for yourself by respecting her.

9. Anytime anger arises and you, it is a powerless wounded orphaned inner child that is coming up to be held, heard, healed and seen. The small orphan is so deeply wounded that it cannot feel the pain, so it wants to punish yourself and/or your partner with rage. The wounded orphan may try to make your partner responsible for creating the bad feelings it has inside, and push your partner away emotionally. Instead of getting revenge on your own divine reflection in the mirror, drop into feeling the lack of love this orphaned child inside you actually feels. have more compassion for this wounded little girl inside your partner. Sit and breathe in the pain with your partner. Cry, make sounds and move your body until it opens you to feeling your deepest core wound in life and give that over to God.

10. The goal of life is to learn how to let go, trust God and love deeply. No human being has the capacity to love you unconditionally, this is your job. All their ego’s defensive neurotic controlling resistance to intimacy is showing up to teach you how to love all the neurotic needy aspects of you as well.

11. Sex is a cosmic sensual dance; a meeting of two divine ecstatic beings using each other’s energy to ascend higher into the heart of consciousness. When approaching your partner for sex, expect nothing. Even if you’ve been together for 20 years. Place no demands, physical expectations or assumptions on your partner. Always approach them with reverence, as if it was the very first time you were to engage sexually. If they are not fully in the mood and you are, tell them you’d like to connect in a very deep intimate level.

12. If everyday your partner closes their heart and shuts down, ask if they can communicate their needs with you. If your partner has any sexual wounds, boundary issues, or feelings of their body being violated from the past, it’s important to go extra slow and gentle with them. Your partner can get easily be re-wounded by you if you’re not approaching in a soft slow deeply loving Tantric way. If your partner has been deeply sexually wounded, they will have very deep protective untrusting walls that automatically show up to protect them from harm. Ask if they are willing to communicate with you how they are feeling BEFORE they protect and pull away from you energetically or emotionally. Ask if they could give you some type of signal that they are approaching their edge and need a moment to breathe, be still and relax. The more you can respect their NO, the more safe they will feel to say YES! Eventually with time their walls will dissolve as the communication between your minds and bodies allow you to trust deeply and merge has one divine ecstatic orgasmic being making love together.

The 3 Step Healing Process to Conflict Resolution

Implementing this powerful 3 step strategy for healing conflict is guaranteed to create more safety and vulnerability in your relationship which will allow for more sexual and spiritual intimacy.

If you and your mate are stuck in a pattern of power/struggle, perpetually caught in a circle of defending, arguing and fighting, do not give up, there is hope! You can mend, reprogram and heal your relationship if you both are in agreement to form a new style of communication with each other.

When you practice this communication strategy in your relating, you’ll find deep healing resolutions to your arguments and a completely new healthy way of relating whenever conflicts do arise.

The deep personal commitment together to this approach will stop your relationship from falling into the victim, perpetrator and savoir triangle. It will allow you both to be free to speak from the heart, share yourself openly, and make a breakthrough in your own individual healing processes.

Before we dive in to learning the 3 steps, it’s vital to know that assumptions, attachments and expectations are the foundation for creating all arguments in relationships. When we create a judgment or negative projections onto our mate, we become blind to the wound that is actually within ourselves. Your intimate partner is the most profound mirror available on Earth. They are constantly reflecting hidden parts inside yourself which you are unable to know or see.

When arguments, conflicts or emotional challenges arise repeatedly in a relationship, they are meant to push each person deeper into seeing the mirror, owning their projections and dive into their own self healing journey.

It is also very important to know that anytime a conflict, argument or emotional disagreement occurs in a relationship, that there are deep emotional wounds from the past that have hardened, and have protective walls around them, preventing your communication to deepen, soften and expand.

The ego has a deep need to be right. So whenever someone is triggered, the tendency shows up to fight or take flight. The heart can instantly shut down, and we’ll either avoid the conflict, run away, or attack, blame and criticize the other or ourselves. These are the very backwards strategies to get love, yet the wounded child within feels powerless and that they have no other alternative than this.

The more honest, vulnerable and patient you can be with your partner, the easier it becomes to create something beautiful and magical in your communication. The end result will be that you are functioning as a team, who is devoted to healing yourself, letting go of your wounded past, and learning how to love yourself and the other unconditionally. This self healing commitment creates teamwork in a relationship, which opens the deepest door to real love, intimacy, friendship and a profound sexual spiritual relationship with each other.

How Does the 3 Step Healing Process Work?

The moment an emotionally triggered situation arises in your communication, you and your partner agree to immediately use this 3 step non-violent communication process together, no matter where you are, who you are with, or what the outer world is like. This devotion to shifting the pattern immediately creates a powerful bond in your relationship as well as the deepest emotional reprogramming for healing and transformation.

1. I FEEL RESPONSE: The moment I feel triggered with my partner, instead of reacting negatively and venting the negative emotion at the other person, I take 100% responsibility and completely own the fact that I am not at peace within myself in this moment, not because of my partner, yet because of my past. I then clearly communicate with partner an “I feel” or “I am experiencing” message stating exactly how I feel in that moment. For example, if my partner makes an assumption about who I am as a person with others that upsets me, I immediately say, “I feel angry that you are talking about me in this way. I also feel sad and hurt by what you’re saying.”

2. THE INVESTIGATION: After I share full responsibility for the emotion I am having, I take time to stop, look inside myself and investigate the deepest emotional memories that are attached to this feeling. Looking back in my personal life history, I search for the very first time that I felt this negative emotion, perhaps in my early childhood, and then I share this memory with my partner. For example, you may say “This anger reminds me of when my dad talked down to me and treated me like a slave and made me feel small and insignificant when I was 10 years old.”

3. HUG OF FORGIVENESS AND LOVEMAKING: Taking full responsibility of the pattern first needs to be experienced before the emotional wound can be healed and forgiveness to be found. If my partner and are triggered together, we must allow time for each person to share these first and second steps before moving to this final step together. When responsibility is created and respect for the other is established again, the time is ripe to open up our arms and invite the other person to come closer requesting a soft loving hug. For example, you may say “I fully own my issue now. Can we hug and breathe together for a few minutes?” No matter what is going on in the outer world is like, we take time in that moment to embrace, breathe into our hearts and feel the pain, and melt into each other until we feel at peace. As soon as possible after this forgiveness hug, we take time for a deep passionate sensitive lovemaking experience. This deeper sexual spiritual connection heals the body, mind and emotions on the most profound levels.

It’s good to know that there is no knowing how many times you or your partner will need to get triggered before the body-mind is reprogrammed and a true deeper healing of the past occurs. For the success of any relationship, love and patience is always the root foundation. The golden secret here is persistence and devotion. When both people are 100% committed to this 3 step healing process, it will create a spiritual transformation within yourself as well as a deeper trust, bonding and intimacy with each other.

NOTE: Be patient and compassion with yourselves in learning to implement this technique! It typically requires that this 3 step process is practiced 21 times in authentic triggering situations, before you establish it as a natural way of communication. It is by far the most practical and powerful tool you will discover in healing and dealing with conflicts that arise.

If you value your relationship, it is vital to choose to use your conflicts as an opportunity to heal yourself deeper. Your relationship is meant to help you unravel yourself, and heal all the buried wounds and fearful issues from your past. Your wounded triggered patterns will keep arising with this mate or the next one until they are completely healed. This is one of the main spiritually hidden reasons we are drawn to maintaining intimate personal relationships.

We must heal ourselves if the relationship is to continue in a healthy enjoyable way. The secret to all of this, is learning how to be totally at peace with you, accepting and loving all the parts inside yourself.

The secret to long term success in any relationship is this perpetual commitment from each partner to themselves to heal themselves. To love themselves no matter what happens, so they transform, heal and enlighten themselves to higher levels. By devoting their lives to deepening in this self healing process, more peace is discovered within, and everything becomes easier in their world.

As you practice this 3 step process you will many wounds you didn’t know you had within yourself. You’ll naturally be living in deep gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. You’ll see how everything is your teacher, and use everything to find a deeper healing within yourself. Your partner is there to help you peel back all the layers inside yourself, so you become a fully transparent embodied being of love. To step into your most whole loving self, who is living from the heart, having an open, loving, playful, reverent and mature way of communicating.

THE FOUNDATION FOR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS

When you realize that there is a Divine God Connection always inside yourself, you can find the power to heal any situation that arises. You see every problem as an opportunity for growth and to discover more peace within. When you are coming from a loving compassionate space no matter what is going on inside your partner, true healing will manifest itself and you’ll continue to rise higher in love and deeper in your bonding together.

When your body and mind are operating at a high frequency of energy, loving communication and heart felt connection with your partner becomes very easy and effortless. The secret is that each person must have their own daily spiritual path, meditation practice, physical exercise regime, daily practice of Tantra together, juicing and eating raw, implementing these 3 steps to conflict resolution and applying the 8 habits manifesting routine found in my super manifestation package below.

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(17-minute Guided Manifesting Meditation)