How to Be Free of Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It
Written by Jafree Ozwald and Margot Zaher
Mr. & Mrs. Fix-It are those parts of our minds that tend to focus on what needs to be changed, improved, controlled, or micro-managed in some way. The birth of Mr. & Mrs. Fix-It comes from the mind’s addiction to finding perfection. The mind is constantly thinking about what is not “right” in someone, or yourself, and wants to help “fix” it. Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It actually have good intentions about helping yourself, partner, friend, co-worker, or family member become a better person, yet this person only hears the message as a complaint or criticism against them. Trying to fix others only makes them feel more imperfect, incomplete, and inadequate. Nobody likes to hear the message that there is something inherently wrong with them. The more “fix-it” energy is there, the more problems start manifesting within the relationship.
Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It create the MOST amount of havoc in intimate relationships. Have you ever noticed how easily you can feel alienated when someone is trying to fix you? The more we tend to focus on what NEEDS fixing within our partner and ourselves, the more unhappy we feel about our life as it is. This incorigiable “Let’s Fix-Them” energy will only lower your intimacy, feelings of connection, and love that you have with others. The more you want to fix someone, the more they respond with the tendency to defend their turf and try to prove that they are right and do not need fixing! In the end, you often create emotional tug-a-wars by trying to fix someone who really hasn’t asked to be fixed.
Here are 3 easy steps to liberate yourself from Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It:
1. Get curious about why you want to fix whatever you want to fix.How is it going to impact you to fix this “supposed” problem? The important thing is to really get curious about your motivation and notice if you have an emotional attachment to a specific outcome. Do you need them (or yourself) to be a certain way for you to feel OK inside? If you do have an attachment, use one of the letting go of attachment exercises taught in The 90 Manifesting Program to let it go.
Offering support without attachment can be very empowering for both parties whereas offering help with an attachment can feel extremely non-supportive and will often back-fire. 2. Determine if your assistance is truly wanted. Once you let go of having to help, you can then ask if the person would like support. If they want support and it feels empowering to assist them, you are free to offer your assistance. However, if you feel that they are only saying “yes” to please you (and really do not want your help), it is best to let go of the whole idea of “fixing” them. To paraphrase Stuart Wilde, if you see someone lying down in the gutter in need of help, and they do not reach up to grab a hold of your hand when you offer it to them, then they do not want support at that moment. Remember that it is O.K. for them to not want to be helped because the person’s soul is on its own path, and needs to learn a personal life lesson from the “unwanted” situation that he or she is experiencing.
3. Refocus your mind on what you love about the person that want to fix.If you find yourself wanting to fix a person, take a moment to list at least 5 things you love, respect, or appreciate about the person. Keep your mind focused on why this person is really an amazing human being and what they can teach you. Every time you want to fix them, just focus on the divine beauty that is already a part of them. You may be surprised at the changes that occur when you change your focus.
Letting go of Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It will create an immense change in your vibration. You will be amazed to discover the joy and powerful creative energy that is hidden behind this identity. As you let go of the Fix-It habit, your ability to empower others will skyrocket, and you will attract the relationships you want with effortless ease. Enjoy the ride!!
Learn how to manifest the relationships you desire with The 90 Day Manifesting Program at: www.manifestingmagnet.com