How to Let Go of Control and Really Enjoy Your Life
By Jafree Ozwald
“To find peace of mind, simply resign as the general manager of the Universe.” ~Unknown
Every day of your life is a new opportunity to deepen in consciousness and expand your understanding of who you think you are. Each new moment is a chance to release any limiting ideas you have about yourself, and start creating a broader perspective on reality. This approach simply results in manifesting a much more enjoyable experience of reality. Who we perceive ourselves to be is what determines the actions we take, and how we choose to interact with others. If we truly want to enjoy this entire life, there must be a deep loosening around every fixed belief that you have about you. If you want to free your mind from any prison it’s in, start surrendering to something divine within you. This path will catapult you through the unknown, so that you discover the vibrant abundant realm of unlimited possibilities.
The energy of control is an impatient egotistic approach to life. It comes from a disconnected feeling there is not enough time, energy, money or creativity for everything you want to manifest. A controlling person will try to push his/her agenda upon another, in an attempt to make their desire manifest in a specific way and time. If we simply knew that everything our heart desired was destined to manifest at a certain future time and place, there would be no need to force our will over anyone or anything. We would simply enjoy the blessings that life is offering in this moment, and not try to manipulate life to give us something more.
If you look back in your life, it’s interesting to see how the energy of control was born into your life. In our primal years, we had no need for control and naturally lived in harmony with life. As children we were like sponges absorbing each moment with trust, and were totally open to receiving all of life. We simply accepted each other and each life experience. We lived in a constant state of wonder, feeling a sense of awe about the Universe, and consistently curious about it’s creation. This was our natural state of being and we didn’t need to do anything to create it.
As we grew older we adopted more complex desires and thinking patterns. We realized that in order to achieve some of our desires we had to establish some form of control over our mind and the outer world. We had to micromanage our experience of life, manipulate life in some way in order to get what we wanted. We learned from others how to get our needs met through their controlling methods. Perhaps they were being impatient, aggressive, demanding, cunning, manipulative, or deceitful in order to force the other person into following their lead.
When we were growing up, we saw how pure will power could force people to ignore their own internal needs and do things against their own free will. We were threatened by authoritative figures to “do as I say or you’ll pay the consequences.” By encountering this for years, we unconsciously adopted this rigid controlling energy into our minds. We saw that when people used a more authoritative and firm approach, it was an effective way to get things done and people would have their desires manifest more quickly.
“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” ~Frank Zappa
If you spent much time in relationship with a hyper-critical, fear-based, over-controlling, authoritative family member, boss, or teacher at school, you may have formed a tendency to become a submissive sheep, or rebel against any form of control. You may also be approaching your life from a generally resistant fear based attitude and not know it. You may not have learned that YOU are the authority of your life, and that those controlling people were simply misguided beings. They were deeply uneducated in the emotional communication department, and simply didn’t know how to connect with you in an intimate, loving and heart opening way.
If you find yourself battling with feelings of being controlled by others, or being too controlling of others, or feeling a need to always control your self, your mind or your emotions, here are a few good questions to ask yourself. “Why do you need to be in control? What would more control give you in life? Is it possible to manifest that without having more control? How do you feel when you let go of control and can relax about your life?” When you find the answer to each of these questions, you may feel it is the secret passageway to locating your greatest goldmine. However, if you keep digging you’ll discover the real gold comes from understanding that your true divine essence is naturally uncontrollable, and this is when you start to become the real master of your life.
Mastery comes from realizing that the only thing we have ANY real control over is how we respond to life in each new moment. When we are relaxed and centered in our hearts, we have the ability to fully respond consciously and with love. It’s easy to see how the attachment to any belief, thought, person, or agenda only results in more misery and suffering. By choosing to live each day from a place of truth, honesty, simplicity, love, trust, and gratitude, we have found the highest path we can take. We can truly be free from the mind’s need to control and relax. If this glorious moment ever occurs for you, then it’s a sign that you have grown deeply. You’ve reached deep enough inside yourself, you’ll get beyond the mind’s childish need for manipulation, you are becoming a mature, responsible, and empowered human being who lives with real integrity.
The person who feels disempowered is simply unaware of their relationship with control. They may get stuck in a complaining habit about their world, only focusing on what they don’t have or is not working the way it “should”. Once that person accepts they are fully responsible for each experience they are creating, they start ignoring the controlling attitude that is not working and start going with the flow of life instead. Control is one of those experiences that you must find a healthy balanced relationship with, in order for you to find happiness inside yourself.
The problem is that many of us never look deep enough inside ourselves, (beyond our faults, frailties and failures) to revel in the light of the amazing being we truly are. Once we create a healthy relationship around control, we’ll stop focusing on what’s lacking, and decide to spend our lives appreciating the simple goodness of being alive. Then, we can relax and fully relish this awesome life! When we realize that everything we manifest comes from what we dwell upon, we become more devoted to meditating on feelings that makes us feel more enthusiastic, empowered, aware and abundant inside.
“When we feel we are powerless our ego most wants to change the things in our world. As we realize we have the power to change our reality the maturity that comes with that understanding changes us, and we find ourselves in acceptance of what is with less desire of feeling our need to change the world around us.” ~ Gregg Braden
The first step on the journey to releasing control and really enjoying your life begins with the decision to finally trusting in Life. You realize the Universe was always behind the scenes, conspiring in your favor and supporting you to manifest your every desire and need. It’s within this sacred realization, knowing the Universe is our most intimate friend and ally, that we take a giant leap of progress along the spiritual path and can relinquishing our ego’s constant need to be in control.
To reach the highest levels of trusting life, start with focusing on your breath and it’s connection to the Source of who you are. Feel within each breath, you’re inhaling the entire Universe into your heart, and then releasing it into the infinite cosmos above. Let each breath be an experience of relaxation and expansion. Notice if any awareness arises that a highly intelligent energy and consciousness is weaving through you and everything around you. Give yourself permission to relax and feel that something magical has been guiding your life from the day you were born. When you feel it, rest inside this space as long as you can and know it will always be there to show you how to create even more pleasure, joy and success in your life.
The next step to releasing control is to practice trusting the feeling of your inner guidance. Listen to how this divine guidance is constantly informing your intuition as which is the best path for you to take. Notice what trusting your inner knowing feels like inside your heart. Be aware how this sensation is showing up throughout your body. When you’re trusting your intuition, notice how your heart opens and expands. Trusting yourself is the most positive life affirming direction you can take. Just let yourself trust whatever speaks to your heart, and surrender to that which is inherently feels good inside you.
In being totally free from the controlling habit, it’s important to understand that your soul is always connected to the highest source of love. Your soul is always in close communication with this healing energy, constantly downloading you with what you’re most needing to hear. When you trust that this connection is there 100% of the time, you’ll notice a deep feeling of relaxation shows up through your body. The inner guidance and relaxation you receive will override the fearful worried controlling mind, and deep down there will be a feeling of coming home. There will arise a natural knowingness that life is good, and it yearns to give you heart expansive mind opening experiences, or whatever it is you’re looking for.
“The one you are looking for is you. You are the traveler and you are the destination. In experiencing the ecstasy of your own being, you have achieved the final goal.” ~Osho
Whenever we feel controlling energy, we are unknowingly choosing to live in fear, and have forgotten how good it feels to simply trust. We have become accustomed to living in anxiety, constantly afraid that some undesirable end result will manifest if we loosen our grip on the situation. We believe that if we relax for just one moment we’ll pay the consequence later in some way. Whenever our fear based controlling mind has become the driving force in how we interact with life, we’re simply tolerating a life of tension and creating a neurosis. We don’t realize how easy and good it is to find real joy by choosing a higher spiritual path of surrender.
The level of fear we experience in almost any 48 hour time frame is a good measure for how tight our grip has become on the handlebars of this grand rollercoaster adventure called life. The amount we are able to trust in life is reflected by how little we feel the need to control it out of fear. It often happens that the instant we let go of fear, we have a greater need to trust in something bigger, and conversely when we truly trust in something bigger, we instantly let go of fear. When we initiate a big step towards releasing our need for control, an extra level of anxiety will initially arise, and we are forced to increase our trust vibration. Each time we abide in the feeling of trusting in the all-loving Universe, we are creating a deeper understanding about the sacred loving nature of Existence. Life is a continual process of awakening to the divinity inside ourselves, and understanding how we continuously create our own reality.
It just happens, the moment you practice letting go of control in one area of your life, your mind attempts to control a different area instead. The bulimic teenager who feels unable to feel in control around her alcoholic parents, turns to having control over her intake of food instead. Wherever the mind can find control, is where it thinks inner peace is found. The truth is inner peace cannot be found in the mind, only when the mind is quiet and still is true peace realized. The mind can be a slippery trickster, and unless it’s trained everyday, it will tend to choose the “easier” path of remaining in control and retain it’s comfortable addiction to being in control.
“For the rational, healthy person, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality.” -Nathaniel Branden
If you feel you are someone who is a true “control freak”, and deeply needs to learn how to relax and enjoy this blessed life, you must first realize how painful it is to always have to be in control. There needs to be a physical, mental and emotional recognition that a controlling attitude yields more pain than pleasure. The pleasure you receive from letting go of control has to be greater than the egoic payoff you get for remaining in control. When you realize by loosening this incessant grip your mind has on life, you instantly begin experiencing more joy, bliss and happiness than you ever have in your entire life! Then, letting go becomes a very easy decision to make. You simply choose trust over control because it feels soooo good to resign from being the general manager of your Universe. It is through following this truly good feeling that you ultimately find a deeper state of trust in the divine guidance that’s flowing through you.
Life is like the most wild road trip across the world’s most radical terrain. You can either relax and enjoy the ride, or see it as some long painful fear based journey that we must all survive. Whenever you choose the path of fear, you’ll find you have a tight white knuckled grip on life’s steering wheel. If your life tends to feel this way everyday, it’s best to try keeping one good strong finger on the wheel, keep your eyes on the road right in front of you, don’t look in the rearview mirror, and just focus on relaxing into your seat. You’ll soon find that you can gently direct this amazing vehicle towards the destination of your greatest dreams and sing a few songs that you love along the way.
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“I contacted Jafree 12 months ago to help me change my financial situation. I have followed his plan faithfully and I went from $90,000 in debt with no direction, to where I am now out of debt and financially free!” ~G. K., Colorado “I’ve been on the 90 day course for a few months now and am really noticing some amazing changes in myself. I feel healthier, I got a promotion at work, I’ve started developing my online business plans that I’ve had for years…and so much more! Thanks Jafree. Please keep the inspiration coming. Best regards. ~Jeremy Gard, Brisbane, Australia “Absolutely Incredible! When I started applying what you taught, money started pouring in from everywhere! I even found my Soul Mate by using your Universal Secrets to Receiving Unlimited Success! Now whenever I need or want something I just ask for it.” ~C.W., New York “The most unusual thing is that when I pick up a chapter in your manifesting manual, every part of my being begins to vibrate as if I just plugged into the Universe!” ~Morgan, Boston, MA. “I did exactly what chapter 9 of the Manifesting Manual said and got tremendous results that really amazed me! I gained $500,000 from a TV show, bought my dream car and am engaged to the person that I feel is my soul mate! We are in love and he is just like I imagined him! Believe it or not. Everything that I write here is TRUE , thank you for helping me!” ~ Bayan Rahal “Jafree’s Manifesting Techniques are delightful and easy to accomplish. The end result for me was $127,000.00 in one month, paying off $80,000.00 of debt and now I’m averaging $50,000 a month!” ~Sunny W., Georgia
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“There are no accidents or coincidences in this world. Nothing is by chance. Everything you’re experiencing is a direct manifestation of where you’re focusing your energy, attention and consciousness.” ~ Jafree Ozwald
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