How to Stop Paddling Up Should CreekWritten by Jafree Ozwald www.EnlightenedBeings.com
How often do you "should" upon yourself and others? Do you ever feel that you are criticizing yourself about how you "should" and "should not" be? You may be astonished at how much suffering is created from this little "S" word. Unknowingly, you may be paddling up "Should Creek" everyday, creating massive unnecessary suffering in your life. It’s good to know that the experience of "shoulding" is caused by a deeper belief inside us that says THIS IS THE WAY LIFE MUST BE in order for me to find happiness or peace. As you can see, this infamous Should Creek is very interconnected to the River of Denial. Both of these streams of consciousness can be so pervasive and elusive that we may rarely realize when we are in them. It’s often when we decide to take a giant step back from our situation that we can find that peaceful ocean of gratitude which always exists beyond the river current.
"All that you see depends on the seer." ~Ramana Maharshi
The experience of "shoulding" on oneself is actually a very interesting phenomenon. It spontaneously occurs when we think and feel that something is not OK the way it is, or is not exactly the way the Universe intended it to be. Yet, how could it be otherwise? The Universe doesn’t make mistakes… ever! Our Universe is a highly intelligent matrix of consciousness and knows exactly what you need in order to instigate your greatest evolution and awakening. Whatever is showing up in your life RIGHT NOW is meant to be because the Universe is trying to wake you up. If you feel that you or someone else truly NEEDS to be different than who they are, you’re just about to toss yourself off the cliff into Should Creek. When we believe that what’s happening is not for the highest good of all concerned in the Universe, a controlling contractive energy starts to take over and creates a feeling of demand and suffering inside. The moment we rest and know that, "Everything is exactly the way it’s meant to be", then all suffering ends instantly.
"Whatever happens, I always look for the gift in it." ~ Byron Katie
The really empowering aspect of leaving this "shoulding" habit behind is that you will naturally increase your ability to manifest ANYTHING that you desire. "Shoulding" is such a heavy vibration that it actually lowers your ability to manifest your desires because it tenses up your mind, body and entire energy field. Only through embracing, welcoming, and accepting WHAT IS HERE NOW can you actually enhance your natural ability to manifest and receive more goodies in your life. The more "shoulds" that you can drop, the more expansive, confident and accepting you will become with everyone that shows up along the way. Every time you stop "shoulding" on yourself (and others), you are freeing up extra time and space to experience joy, appreciation and gratitude. Gratitude is one of the highest energies you can tap into to flip your should factory upside-down and start manifesting a life you love! The switch from being a should-a-holic to a gratitude-a-holic allows you to continuously experience the most powerful positive thoughts and feelings in the Universe. This switch will magnetize the most powerful positive experiences and people into your life!
"The simple truth of it is that what happens is the best thing that can happen. Reality is always kinder that the story we tell ourselves about it." ~ Byron Katie
"Shoulds" only create more disconnection, abandonment, and misery, while acceptance and appreciation opens the doorway for soul-based relationships. The more often you become aware of when you are "shoulding" on yourself, the easier it is to create empowering loving relationships in your life. We found that the experience of "shoulding" is like getting into the boxing ring by yourself and fighting with the air. It’s truly pointless. Every "should" that you throw on the other just reflects some deeper unhappiness you find within yourself. You see, every human (especially you) is doing the best they can with the energy, resources, and information they’ve got. Your job is to support them (and yourself) by accepting them as they are and bathing them with love. As you may have already discovered, "shoulding" on each other creates much pain and stuckness in relationships, and besides it is truly impossible to change another person. The more you "should" upon them, the more they pull away from you and try to push you out of their life. If you want to create amazing relationships, drop the "shoulds" you have and find appreciation for everything that you see inside and outside of yourself. You will then see a massive shift in your experience of happiness and contentment in every relationship you have, almost immediately.
"Every word you speak is perfect, every move you make is perfect." ~Prasad
The greatest news of all is that what is happening right now is truly perfect!! The Universe is Divine and truly perfect in its entirety. So you can stop fighting with your "shoulds" now and just accept that this divine intelligence is running the bigger show. Every experience you have, whether it is viewed as bad or good, will contain a blessing in it for you. Each situation is perfect because there is a higher purpose behind it all. It may not be important that you know what this bigger purpose is right now, yet what is key is that you realize you are free. Yes, you are free to stop fighting with existence and can allow yourself to blissfully surrender to the perfection of each experience that unfolds.
The 3 secrets to stop paddling endlessly up "Should Creek" are found through re-directing your thoughts into the endless ocean of gratitude! Here are three easy steps for you to create this shift today!
1. Become highly aware of when you are "shoulding". The energy of "shoulding" can be very subtle, and can come as a thought that we just believe to be true. The easiest way to recognize a "should" is to check in with your body. Anytime you are feeling contracted, angry, sad, or unhappy, a "should" is happening somewhere on some level. Some common "shoulds" that you may recognize are ones like, "I should always be at the perfect body temperature, I should always have my act together, I should always be peaceful, my wife should always be loving, my husband should always understand me, etc.. "Shoulding" on yourself is a habit that most of society accepts and feels is needed for order, so it takes great awareness to drop! Start by imagining that a RED STOP SIGN pops up anytime you say or hear the word "should", and you will soon awaken to the depth of suffering that it’s creating.
2. Before Speaking, Sit with the "Shoulding" Feelings that Arise. When you feel yourself about to "should" on someone, stop, breathe and get really curious about it. What is the feeling that arises inside of you when you think of this "should"? Just sit with this feeling without getting caught up in the story. Watch and feel it with a child-like curiosity. If you can stay with the pure raw feeling for 3 minutes, you will see that it dissipates in some way or turns into a new feeling that is easier to sit with. You will eventually feel peaceful if you stay long enough with whatever feelings arise. Feelings will literally let go of you if you do not put any energy into them. For instance, if you say, "My spouse should be more loving", simply ask yourself, "How do I feel when I think that thought"? You may feel angry, powerless or sad inside. Just sit with the feeling that is BEHIND the "should". Do not act it out! Just feel it until it morphs into another feeling, and eventually it will lead you back to being more connected with your soul.
3. Bring Gratitude into Every Situation. The last step is to turn each "should" statement you make into a gratitude statement. For instance the above "should" around your spouse could become, "I am grateful that my spouse doesn’t give me all of the love I think I need." Here comes the fun part. You get to think of 2 reasons why you can be grateful for this. Some reasons in this situation might be, "I get to practice loving myself", "I get to unravel all of my beliefs around love", or "I have an opportunity to strengthen my relationship", etc.. Yes, this is a whole new way of thinking that drastically expands your energy field and ability to feel love and joy. Have fun!!
Learn proven techniques for shifting out of the "should" mentality and live everyday in gratitude! Experience our 90 Day Manifesting Program instantly online at www.manifestingmagnet.com
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May you always enjoy freedom from the "shoulds",
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