Loosen The Grip On Your Life

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Loosen the Grip on your Life    
By Jafree Ozwald  

“All the greatest treasures are hidden behind that which we wouldn’t want to be with. You’re this ultimate mischief and brilliance. All the wisdom, compassion and treasure is within… so where are you going to hide it?” ~Pamela Wilson

I was going for a bike ride in the park the other day, when I came across a stray dog standing on the side of the path.  When he saw me approaching, he immediately snapped at me, as if he was needing to defend itself from being attacked.  Looking at his scrawny skinny malnourished body, hair balding with bare red skin in certain scratched off patches, I could see that he had quite a rough long life on the streets.  It was apparent that this neglected animal had been abused many times by people (perhaps for no good reason at all in his mind) which pushed him into a deep habit of defending himself from any potential intimate encounter. This brief encounter with this wounded animal touched me in the most intimate ways.

I realized that because this dog had such an intense defensive mechanism, he probably would have to spend the remainder of his life alone, cold through the winters, without his pack or any human to care for him, looking everyday through garbage for a few morsels of food.  It was a very sad thought, then I realized that it was this animals karma to continue “manifesting” this situation until he learned how to relax and stop being so quick to snarl, snap and growl at anyone who got too close to him.  We all have our lessons in life, even animals, and he was being forced by the Universe to learn how to release his tight fearful grip on his life so he could be petted, taken care of, fed and receive love. 

As I continued biking and looking at people’s faces around the park, it became very apparent to me that soooo many people in the world are living their lives in a state very similar to this dog.  Ordinary people like you and me, who were abused at some point in their life journey, and are now spending the rest of their lives hiding behind a tight protective shielded energy.  In their eyes I could see these people were still holding onto their pain, feeling lost, alone, insecure, and trapped in their lives.  They were still reacting to the memory of pain buried in their past.  It is this memory that causes them to live in constant defense mode and attack others so they don’t become abused again by someone in this world.  I wonder what it takes for people to be truly courageous, and stop playing the role of this protective defensive dog, and choose to be cuddled, petted and nourished instead.

Whenever our grip on life is too tight, there’s not enough room for love to enter.  We are living like a tight fist, unable to relax and receive love.  The love can come in many forms.  The form of abundance, a new partner, a warm hug, a new job that you love, motivation to create a fit body, spontaneous healing, or even a deeper trust in your own intuition.  If you take a long deep look at your past, you have most likely been emotionally attacked and wounded in some way like this dog.  If you haven’t healed that part, that wounded you is still gripping with fear, trying to control your experience of life from the inside.  Healing can only occur when you feel this pain, let go of trying to control it, and welcome all the feelings that arise from it.   

“You take yourself to be limited, but you are not.  Discover this by staying silent and attentive. Be earnest about it.
Just be aware of your being here and now and reality will find you.”  ~Nisargadatta Maharaj

 If you’re unsure how, if or when you’re playing the white knuckle control game with your life, just pay closer attention to your body.  The ego’s tight grip will show up as tension inside, which may be super subtle or painfully intense.  This tension means you are still behaving on some level like the stray dog.  Your tension is a teacher, and the Universe is attempting to show you the art of relaxation, surrender, and letting go of control.  Healing yourself is honoring the wound is your greatest teacher, knowing it is the essential core element on the path towards self-realization. It’s all the perfect set up, as it forces you to find your spiritual path and step beyond the ego into a life that’s truly free from suffering. 

Having a tight grip on your life comes from living a life filled with control.  If you are trying to control your kids, your parents, your employees, or perhaps your emotions and your thoughts you will feel the tension inside.  You might think that you must always remain in control or things will get crazy.  Perhaps you’re afraid to let go of control about your finances, what you eat, your social behavior, or what is going to happen to you in the future.  The mind tends to create an over exaggerated grip on life, because it doesn’t know how to trust life.  The tightness you feel is pure resistance to trusting life, and is the ego’s little strategy to remaining “powerful”.  Ultimately, the need for control is the greatest distraction, keeping you from diving deeper inside until you discover the greatest misunderstanding that mankind has ever had.  This misunderstanding is the ignorant belief that you are a powerless unlovable unworthy being totally disconnected from God. 

Everyone in society has many rational reasonable reasons to continue trying to “control” their life. Yet, what many haven’t realized yet is that when you finally understand what your white knuckled grip is about and decide to let it go, you are instantly led to discovering your divine true nature. This sacred all trusting all knowing soul is self-evident and becomes quite obvious.  It shows up instantly when you drop all subtle attempts to be in control, or not feel out of control. 

The society will challenge you deeply to remain in control as much as possible.  There are not many people in this world who would agree that trusting life is the way to go.  Trusting life creates individuals who are free liberated thinkers, which our structured society cannot control!  So keep in mind that whatever makes you think you’re some powerless human being who is in need of more control, this belief is also what is causing the pendulum to swing in the opposite direction.  Its forcing you to discover that way deep down you are a loving divinely creative manifesting being who has access to an unlimited source of consciousness and energy.  Yes, at the very core of it all, you are the God Source itself. 

The biggest Truth is that the divine essence that you are, the spark of unlimited creative love inside you, is soooo HUGE that it simply cannot be controlled.  That is why trying to control life never really works.  Any tight grip you have on your outer (or inner) world will instantly make you feel you’re separate from the God Source. Why would you need a tight grip on anything if you know you are the God Source?  The ignorance of our divine nature is an addiction, and based on the society’s agreement about the illusion of separation.  It says the “matrix” is real, and not a construct of our imagination.  Everything in this world can be used as a distraction from knowing your real nature or the direct path to discovering it.  It all depends on if you can take a long deep look inside yourself and honor this sweet, divine being who is truly loving, powerful, and spiritually connected to everyone and everything! 

Once the ego catches the tiniest glimpse of who you really are, it will be very embarrassed about all its over-controlling strategies.  It will bow down to the God Source and surrender the need to be right about anything.  When you honestly take a good long look at your life, you’ll see there is no need to try to control anything at all.  Your life is already perfectly out of control, and perfectly in control.  The Universe is ultimately in charge and your job is to enjoy this journey of self-realization back home. 

You’re job here is to realize your infinite loving connection with the God Source inside you now.  This is what you’re here to integrate and ground into your life.  You signed up to experience a tight grip on your life so that your coming home would be sooo much more relaxing and amazing.  So tighten your grip as much as you can on your life, yet just know deep down that it is a losing battle.  You cannot be in control every little detail of your life and be at peace.  Eventually the ego must give up and surrender.  The moment it honestly does, you discover a natural blissful connection to the God Source is already here, available within you.

“God is there only if you surrender. Surrender makes anything God.  Surrender gives you the eyes, and everything that is brought to these eyes becomes Divine.” ~Osho

To master control in your life, its first important to know that we human beings have a few basic needs that we need to get met everyday.  We all need to be loved, have a safe clean warm place to sleep, loving friends and family, clean water, and healing foods that feed the body, mind and soul.  To get our needs met we must be willing to let go of control, to trust life is here for us, and be willing to focus the mind in the positive direction towards receiving our needs.  If we get caught in fear, we end up creating an extra unnecessary need to be in control of our lives.  If this manifests its because we are not OK with our insecurity and the feeling of being out of control.  The need to control anything in life only create problems because the Universe was not created to be controlled.  It was created to be enjoyed, and mirror back to you an experience of yourself where you can know yourself as a divine all powerful manifesting being that you are.

Manifesting is a natural gift we all have, where your desires effortlessly show up because you are ready to receive them.  The restless rational mind doesn’t understand this.  It thinks it must do something to manifest something, and has to know exactly HOW you’re going to get from A to B to C.  It needs solutions to its problems, and this causes you to get more wrapped up in another over controlling scenario.  The only way out of this mess is to meet with your “inner controlling critic” inside your mind consciously with love.  You must teach it to discover the humble middle path through life, where it gets to learn how to let go, and trust that life is meant to be easy effortless and loving. 

The golden secret to manifesting is having a healthy relationship with your mind.  This means that your grip on your mind is not too tight, nor too loose.  The reason I’ve focused so much on the tight aspect is because this is how the majority of people are functioning in the world. Imagine that your mind is this brilliant new guitar which you’re learning to play.  You’ll first need to tune it, and if your strings are too loose the music won’t play, and if it’s too tight your strings will tweak and break. To perfectly tune the inner guitar of your mind, you must pay close attention to how it sounds (feels).  Upon a deep investigation and introspection, find out why, when, where and how your grip on life is too tight or too loose.  Observe what issues you cannot let go of and soften about for a single moment, and explore what it may be like to relax and trust that everything is going to be ok. 

The moment you can see how your ego is still playing the controlling game, you’ve won half the battle.  The next step is to notice if the roots of the controlling energy are coming from the source of fear or love.  If you go beneath the deepest root, passing far beneath the surface layers, you’ll find the source of love is at the very core.  Yet, to get to this vast all encompassing healing love inside, you must continuously dig. When you reach the core, there is stillness and silence at the center.  Your mind will relax and shift to becoming more trusting and love based.  You’ll find that you become more flexible, open minded, easy going, and able to welcome new ideas, people, beliefs and realities into your life. 

Healing our control issues naturally occur when we look inside at that part (which we don’t want to see), and start seeing it from a new angle.  When you can see it from a heart filled with acceptance and gratitude, it will transform.  Accepting what you see inside yourself means you’re not trying to change it in any way.  You’re simply being present with what you find, being open to seeing the bigger picture as to why your soul would choose to experience wounding and taste this different flavor of life.  The choice is always yours to dive deep enough into the core of your being which is always rooted in love…the God Source itself.  You must stop behaving like the stray dog, and release the need to bark at others you love, or defend your ego’s opinions.  This is a deeper journey than the ego can handle.  Its about diving into complete 100% trust, knowing that this Universe is truly a loving healing place created to help you evolve, learn to love and grow. 

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves… and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” ~Albert Camus

We are all here to unravel the illusions we believe are real, and the reality we think is an illusion.  We are here to wake up from the dream, and dream that we are already awake.  We are each here to heal our wounds and realize at the core we are already whole healed and completely perfect.  When you discover your tightest grip on live, you have to find infinite patience with yourself.  You realize it could possibly take many years (or lifetimes) to totally heal all your layers of wounding and find true peace.  When this happens, the ego surrenders its illusions of control on the deepest levels and you start dropping deeper into the stillness, and silence that is the Source of Love itself.

 I hope you got something out of this article and the life of this abused dog has opened your eyes in some positive way.  I would love to know that this dogs daily suffering is not a sheer wastage.  If you can allow his lonely abused life to help awaken and heal yours, he will have served his purpose. I pray that you take in this message today and truly loosen the grip on your life so any abused, neglected parts inside yourself can be cuddled, petted, held and healed.  It’s all about truly letting in the love!  When you take the risk to love yourself as you are, this love naturally flows onto others creating a kind loving world that you can look forward to living in. 

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“You are Amazing! This year it has been so difficult for me, I lost my job, I was feeling so blue and the only thing that really helped me was to keep reading your beautiful messages and they really help me to keep stand and fighting! You meant A LOT to me! I want to show my gratitude for being in my life when I felt so lonely. I wish you the best and again thank you thank you so much! Send you a BIG hug!” ~Elizabeth Hernandez

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“I’ve been on the 90 day course for a few months now and am really noticing some amazing changes in myself.  I
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Sending lots of love and lightness,
Jafree Ozwald

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“There are no accidents or coincidences in this world. Nothing is by chance. Everything you’re experiencing is a direct manifestation of where you’re focusing your energy, attention and consciousness.” ~ Jafree Ozwald

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