The 3 Steps for Defeating Fear with Love
By Jafree Ozwald
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King
Do you want to experience a profound state of peace and bliss? Then learn what it takes for you to continuously choose love over fear. What is love? The experience of love is what opens you, softens you, makes you smile, laugh and feel a light playful innocence inside. It is the most patient, healing, expansive and calming sensation you’ll find in the Universe! The experience of fear is exactly the opposite. It comes from a need to overly control yourself, your mind, a situation or another person. Fear is a lack of trust, which makes you feel contracted, small, powerless, judgmental, and very serious about everything in your life. If you are unsure whether you’re in a state of love or fear, pay close attention to the sensations in your chest and heart area. If your chest feels as if you are embarking upon a 3 month Hawaiian vacation somewhere in there, you’re coming from a place of love.
To know how truly divine the experience of love is, we need to experience and understand fear. Fear is a time bound experience that only enters your body when your mind becomes too attached to certain thoughts, needs and desires that it believes you must have in order to be happy. Fear is always coming from a demanding energy that is mixed with a state of “panic”. It is not living in a feeling of timelessness or has an infinite quality to it. Fear believes that if this one need/desire does not manifest then everything will crumble. When you learn how to have no attachment to any want, need or desire, then fear simply cannot enter your body or mind.
The more you discover how to live your life from a relaxed easy timeless place that is resting deeply in your heart, the less fear you’ll attract along your journey. You can become fearless and unstoppable, unshakeable like a mountain by befriending what you fear. Whatever it is you fear is not what you think it is. When you meet and greet your fear with love, you will feel fully protected by life, always taken care of, just as you did when you were a brand new innocent baby, who was emanating pure love. It is from a deep trust in life that is resting in the heart, allowing life’s magical unfolding process to play itself out that you discover a home in your heart that is always free from fear. This fearless heart is what ignites a torch to bring light into the deepest darkness and mystery of your mind.
The greatest secret to defeating fear is quite simple, yet it takes precise awareness and consistent practice. The main rule here is never to resist that which you fear. Never avoid fear, nor give it any non-loving attention. Always meet it consciously with gentleness and patience. Fear has come into your life to propel and encourage you to become a brighter more amazing light being! Fear is a teacher who is pushing your soul further into a state that’s exuding tremendous happiness, so you are perpetually beaming with life! Fear is the fertilizer that boosts the exponential growth of your soul so you actually fulfill your soul’s mission here. Once you learn how to place a “welcome mat” out what you fear, you’ll find fear is nothing to be afraid of anymore. Below are 3 powerful steps to help you move your life beyond the trap of fear and directly into love.
1. Allow fear to show itself in your physical body. Fear may form as a subtle tension in your chest, stomach or even as a persistent migraine headache. If this feeling could talk, what would it say? Notice where it is coming from, without judging or analyzing it. The experience of allowing for it to be here is giving it love. Allow your sensations of fear to be as deep and painful as they need to be. Be with the story of whatever it believes is real, yet know its just some imagined story and not the bigger picture. Fear is always love in disguise, playing the role of a contracted needy controlling helpless suffering thought form. Your job is to allow this lost love to come home and be found! Treat fear like a homeless puppy who needs your love! Allow it to be cuddled, felt, heard and given whatever loving heart energy you can give it. Let it squeal, moan, whine if it needs to, just give it all the loving attention it truly needs. If it starts to bark or growl, don’t react to it, just listen to what’s beneath its cry. If your fear gets too big to handle, practice sitting back from it, as if you’re watching it from the last row of a huge audience. Let it play out its fanatical role on stage. Try to see the grand Universal stage on which your life is being played. Notice why you might have manifested this specific fear in your life, what its teaching you to become, and how it is essential for your soul’s journey into deep healing.
2. Focus on the space that is around the fear. Don’t dwell on your fear by trying to change or fix the fearful thought/feeling itself. Bring your attention to the spacious quality and the actual “space” that surrounds the fear, which is also allowing it to exist. Giving fear plenty of space and time is giving it love, and the secret to defeating it. The energy of “fixing it” rarely works because its not coming from a place of infinite patience, gratitude and love. Nobody wants to be fixed because it makes us believe we are broken. Approach your fear how you would like to be approached if you were hurting. Hold the space around your fear as sacred, so your fear can be felt, seen and accepted just as it is. Holding space means you are allowing for gentleness, kindness and a feeling of infinite patience all around it. We all like to be given space with loving patience when we are hurting. Giving space allows the cause and reason for your fear to surface and be healed with a compassion heart and ears. By being exquisitely present to your fear, allowing it to exist as it is, you’ll find that its contracted energy ends up naturally dispersing into the vast space around it. Simply relax, as you become the space that is allowing this fear to be here now.
3. Let every breath be your prayer. This 3rd part is a very powerful meditation that will shift your fear forever. On the inhalation of each breath, imagine you are breathing in the darkest aspects of your fear into your heart. On your exhalation, imagine breathing out a beam of white light from your heart into that darkest place of fear. Practice this exchange of dark and light energy until the dark fearful feeling no longer has a “charge”, and you have no resistance to it. Don’t worry about your heart being negatively effected by this exercise, the heart is the greatest alchemist you’ll ever find. It is always moving energy (blood) through it, so nothing can get stuck in it when you are practicing welcoming that which is not welcome to come in. The great secret for this transformation to take root is realizing all fear is simply an absence of love and a lack of light. It is not anything but the experience of lack itself. Remember, it only takes a candle flame to light up the darkest room in your house. If you’re facing a major life phobia it may take 20-30 minutes of breathing before you feel any shift. Your eyes need time to fully adjust to any newly lit dark room. If your fear is subtle, you can feel a healing shift happen in your body in a few minutes with this magical meditation. Just know one thing as you practice…any scary gremlins you think are hiding in the corners of your mind are also soft childhood stuffed animals who are covered with crust of pain and are deeply needing love.
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