The Greatest Healing Habit
By Jafree Ozwald
“As long as we hold on to blame, we cannot forgive.
As long as we do not forgive, we cannot love.” ~ Grace Elohim
Throughout the course of a lifetime, we are all going to experience some form of pain and suffering. This is a requirement for being born as a human being, as it enables you to know what true humility is all about. It is inevitable that at some period in our lives, we will attract a situation that is void of pleasure and filled with trauma. This trauma however, is not an empty hole filled with darkness, there is a very large gold mine underneath it. Every curse always contains a blessing, and every blessing has some curse within it. Whenever we are having some inner conflict, the curse is the only thing we can see, while the blessing is hidden underneath and will be revealed down the road.
In the world of manifesting, there are truly no accidents or coincidences in our world. We are each fully responsible for every thought we’re entertaining, which inadvertently attracts the situations and experiences we encounter. We are powerful manifesting beings who are creating each experience of our lives. We can only attract a dramatic or traumatic experience because we are deeply unaware of our intuitive guidance and not listening to what it’s saying. When we are ignorant to our “higher self” and ignoring the personal vital messages everyday, we are unconsciously asking to slide into more pain, play the victim role, and receive a much deeper lesson that will jolt us so we wake up to our spiritual path.
Most of us have a subconscious basement stuffed with past traumas stored up from early in this lifetime or even from a previous “past life” we lived. In order to function optimally in this world, we have had to lock the door to this old pain and hide away the key. This buried wound is then pulsing underneath all the time, hidden from our daily lives until we get close to another human being, fall in love, or open up to an intimate conversation with someone. Then, these wounds suddenly come to the surface and the opportunity to experience forgiveness begins.
“When the violin can forgive the past it starts singing. When the violin can stop worrying about the future, it will become such a drunk laughing nuisance that God will then lean down and start combing you into his hair. When the violin can forgive every wound caused by others, the heart starts singing.” ~ Hafiz
If you truly want to transform your life from the inside out, learn the healing habit of self forgiveness. It is truly the most powerful, revolutionary and life changing habit that you can choose to practice on a daily basis. There is nothing more effective and transformational that you can do with your time here on Earth. The energy of forgiveness will heal your life, bring kindness back into your relationships, cure you of any illness you are facing, and free you from repeating the traumatic pattern you’ve been in. Sure, it may take you weeks or months to train your heart to let go, trust that this is the highest path, and choose to be happy instead of right about things. Yet, as you repetitively fall into the forgiveness vibration, the feeling it will bring you is so liberating that you will naturally create a habit out of it. The key is choosing to be consistently kind and gentle with yourself and everyone every day in every way. With practice you’ll attain mastery over the commanding demanding ego, and this soon equates to finding long term happiness in your relationships, financial success, and your body’s physical, emotional and mental health.
The experience of forgiveness is real, and not difficult to achieve. In fact it’s as easy as a snowflake falling down from the sky. You simply are letting go, trusting the winds of life, relaxing into your experience and knowing you will soon land in home sweet home. When you are in this light snowflake state, you are relaxed inside and can effortlessly move out of the repetitive hard heavy thoughts your mind might be swirling in. With just a little self love, you can shift an old pattern that has been destroying your relationships for years and create something completely brand new! So let’s practice experiencing the forgiveness vibration right now, this way you’ll already be better at it tomorrow!
Start with taking one long slow deep breath into your belly. Feel what is the heaviest burden or weight you’re carrying inside you. Notice the energy around your heart, deep in your stomach, or weighing on your back and shoulders. Once you find the tension, give it permission to be there. It is already there, and not going anywhere, so just accept it for what it is right now. Now bring more and more awareness into the tension, heaviness, tightness or whatever pain you’re holding inside. Be aware of it without trying to change it. Notice where it is exactly inside you and how long its been there. Look to see if there is a certain time, person or place when it tends to flare up stronger. The longer you can allow for the feeling of this pain to be there, the deeper the roots of forgiveness can dig down inside and penetrate through to the core, reaching into every cell of your being.
“And this is a miracle: the moment that you realize that there is no way to make a home, then this whole existence is home. Then wherever you are, you are at home.” ~Course in Miracles
If you believe there is nothing inside you that is seeking forgiveness, look a little deeper, use a magnifying glass and broaden your definition of forgiveness. What if forgiveness simply meant loving you? Our childhoods are often filled with very subtle dramatic moments containing judgments about the world, ourselves and others. We all were conditioned to be like our parents, who perhaps didn’t have the luxury of having years of therapy and healing from their childhood. So we are dealing with generations of heavy conditioning, self sabotaging thought patterns, narrow minded beliefs, and unconscious unforgiving habits which we have no idea are there. Don’t be deceived for a momentum especially if you think your life is going “just fine”. There is a hungry tiger in the room! The only way you’ll know the truth is by taking a deep long look inside yourself, into your past, and notice where you are not 100% at peace. Unless you are already a master at loving you, there is always going to be some crack or crevice that hasn’t been filled with love. This is crack is what perpetuates our mission as human beings, giving us a purpose and reason to evolve in love on earth.
The energy of forgiveness starts with a choice. The very moment you choose it, your energy shifts from living in the deep dungeon of self neglect, addictions and unhappiness, to the kingdom of light and love inside your heart. It is within your heart where you’ll find the truth, and this will set you free. The heart is the secret to your life, where you’ll realize what real empowerment is, and how to manifest total freedom, abundance and success on all levels. It is from the heart that we can finally relax and experience where the bliss of pure being abides. By seeing forgiveness as being deeply gentle with you, everything will change. Just know that it is an highly evolved conscious way of being that is rooted in automatically responding to others emotional inflections with gentleness, kindness, compassion and patience. Practice this automatic response and each day will unfold in the most heavenly ways. The more quickly you can surrender to loving yourself, and choosing love over fear, the easier it becomes to slip into this healing sensation the next time drama comes flying around the corner.
If you stop to really think about it for yourself, truly what is forgiveness to you? What actually happens inside you when you choose to forgive yourself or another? How does it FEEL in your body? It’s a feeling of letting go, trusting life, and surrendering to the greater good, yet how will this show up in your practical daily life? If you’re having trouble knowing where and how to start this forgiveness experience, notice of you have any yearning to feel a warm deep harmony connected with everyone, instead of an old cold, distant isolating way of feeling separate and lonely. Anytime you feel wronged by another, it’s the Universe testing you to see if you’ll play the game of being small, separate and cold. No matter what they said or did to you, at some point you will need to forgive them, if you want true peace inside. Again, no matter what was said or done to you, the bigger the argument the ego has to be right about it’s case, the longer the forgiveness process will take.
There is always a deeper need inside us to be at happy, in love, in peace than be right about anything. Forgiveness is the golden key to this path. As long as your ego is still running the show, there is always going to be some part of yourself who gets hurt by others, and is identifying with their judgments, anger or wounded feelings of pain. One could go to the extent of saying all forgiveness is self forgiveness, letting go and loving yourself. From this perspective there truly is no “other” and we are all simply just one Being. This is perhaps the most enlightened approach to life if you can truly live it from the heart. We already are all so deeply intimately interconnected, so by forgiving yourself AS IF you were the other, you will liberate you in the end. The other person will attain access to that healing feeling you’re then radiating, making it much easier to forgive themselves.
“The choiceless truth of who you are is revealed to be permanently here permeating everything. Not a thing and not separate from anything.” ~ Gangaji
Perhaps you (or someone you know) is stuck in an emotionally negative cycle, repeating the habit of coming down hard on yourself (or the other) with blame, criticizing, being negative, or just unkind. If this is happening for weeks, months or years, the most important question to ask is not, “why is this happening to me?” yet rather, “why is it happening for me and what can I do to transcend this vicious cycle?” The first step is to take responsibility for the experience you’re creating and make a firm decision to change it. Shift your thoughts, expand your vibration and you’ll change your life. Make it a priority that you are sick and tired of playing the angry/victim game and are now climbing out of this old dumpster and up the hill of happiness! A resilient decision is the main foundation for whether you will find yourself successful at shifting out of your destructive unforgiving pattern or not.
It’s often the hardest step in life that is the most important one to take. This is about taking time to feel into the deepest root system of your greatest pain, heaviest burden, or most negative belief about you and taking responsibility for creating it. This painful experience is your lifelong teacher, that may be with you until the day you leave this body. Once you make friends with it, you will manifest something new in your life! If your mind continues to defend itself, arguing that you’re not responsible for this pain, then ask it if it’s willing to be free from it. As long as the mind continues to go back into the pattern of criticizing, blaming, belittling, or degrading another, then it’s your responsibility to transcend the mind and see this as your life’s golden opportunity for healing.
You are the one who gets to turn on your forgiveness engine each morning. From the moment you are awake, start loving you and letting go of the heavy old past self who was not “good enough”. Keep dipping in the releasing healing river of letting go, and each time you may find a new level of responsibility that you can take on. Any hard and heavy thoughts you’ve entertained in the past can be freed and give you an experience of total liberation! The more often you go inside to love you and forgive yourself, the more empowered and lovable you’ll feel that day. You’ll be quicker to instantly reverse any negative thought or energetic flow, and find the freeing feeling of letting it all go.
Think of this as a course in training your brain to be free. When you can continuously return to a current of positive loving thoughts about you, which sprout up from any emotional gutter of pain, the healing habit gets formed. You soon will find yourself automatically responding to life with an authentic open heart that is filled with self-love and self-forgiveness. Every time you practice shifting your attention back to loving you, the world around you (and inside you) has to respond in a more loving, healing and sensitive manner. Just remember that any time a new habit is formed, there is an adjustment stage. In the beginning it may feel uncomfortable and even “wrong” to be gentle with yourself. You may not make you or your heart a priority. As you practice choosing to think differently about this, you’ll expand the healing feelings inside and raise your vibration. If this is all super new to you and you cannot imagine not pulling out the hammer to come down hard on yourself, you may need to look deeper inside for a bigger reason to put down your weapon.
“Blame is an invention of the wounded ego. Love knows no blame only compassion. Blaming holds you in the energy of the duality, of victim and abuser. Forgiving is a direct way of reclaiming your power and free yourself to love beyond judgment.” ~ Grace Elohim
If you think you first need to find a sufficiently good reason before you can forgive yourself or another from the past, think again! You might want to imagine what it’s like to remain in this internal battle of pain your entire life and never discover what the experience of total freedom, healing or enlightenment is! Remember, the ego is a master at being right and never being completely satisfied with anything loving, easy or simple. Simply choosing to forgive because it feels lighter inside your heart is the only real reason you need. Give yourself at least 21 days to create the healing habit to reprogram yourself. Your body will learn to automatically flip on the forgiveness switch, and soak in your own personal self-soothing pool of love! Soon you will become addicted to doing it simply because it feels soooo darn good!
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“There are no accidents or coincidences in this world. Nothing is by chance. Everything you’re experiencing is a direct manifestation of where you’re focusing your energy, attention and consciousness.” ~ Jafree Ozwald
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