The Greatest Secret to a Successful Intimate Relationship

The Greatest Secret to a Successful Intimate Relationship
Written by Jafree Ozwald

The Universe is really quite brilliant in more ways than we know. It is constantly teaching you the life lessons you are here to learn, without you having to remember them or understand why you are even here learning them in the first place. If you want to discover how amazing your life actually is this week, open yourself to being emotionally intimate with somebody.  The type of intimacy that I’m talking about is not necessarily sexual (although it may lead to that), it’s a deeper heart connection where you fully allow the other to gaze into your eyes, feel what is inside your heart, and where you both openly share that which “cannot be shared” about your lives.

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never
to have loved at all.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

There is nothing more frightening, ecstatic and life diving into a truly intimate encounter with another human being.  This “in-to-me-you-see” is the ultimate vehicle for instigating true inner freedom in this lifetime.  It’s a spontaneous exploration which can be done with anyone, yet if you have a special person in mind with whom is easier to open with, go for it!  Take 15 minutes of your life to look into each others eyes.  These are the windows to the eternal vast soul that you are.  This soul gazing experience will help you to cope with your life by unlocking the experience of a hidden paradise within.   So do whatever it takes this week to initiate this encounter and open your heart wider than its ever been before!  By sharing your true self fully you can dive fathoms deeper into love. 

“The Universe has billions of ways to keep us humble and fascinated all at the same time.” ~Mike Pearson

There is no better way to move beyond the stuck old mossy parts of ourselves than to be absolutely real, foolishly vulnerable and nakedly exposing your innermost self.  Intimacy is our greatest opportunity to break through the shielded ego and reach our highest levels of consciousness.  It’s the only way we are able to understand every crack and crevice about ourselves and gauge how much we have actually evolved as human beings.  However, the big secret here is that if you want to create a real intimate connection that is truly real, you must first establish that connection with yourself.  There is nothing more important at the end of your day (or life) than the love you’ve shared and experienced within.

“When there is love in your heart then everything
outside of you also becomes lovable” ~Veeresh

Sure, getting to know yourself can be a terrifying proposal, yet it is also absolutely exciting and deeply invigorating.  Every moment of your life you have this life transforming choice; you can choose to hide and coward behind your conventional, effective, comfortable old ways of relating (living up in your head), or take the risk to dive deeper within, expose your vulnerable sides and be unconditionally loving with YOU.  The option to express a profound gentleness with yourself is always here now. The real question is how creative are you?  The more love you can let into your heart right now, the more amazing your life will be.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One, is as though there are no miracles. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein

The only thing that stops you from loving yourself is your ego.  The ego believes self love is selfish and egocentric.  Yet, think of your ego as an igloo made of solid ice.  This “ego-loo” is quite hard, resistant to love, and really thinks it’s here to protect you from the outer world.  It believes its toughness is necessary to shield you from harsh people, potentially painful situations, or even bad “weather”.  Yet, the ego too often forgets that its hardness also keeps you from feeling the vast expansive sky and warm glorious sunsets.

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” ~Buckminster Fuller

The key to absolute happiness in your life is melting through your ego-loo.  When you create enough heat (desire for freedom), you can melt through any shell and discover that YOU are The infinite Source of love.  Yes, you already are like the bright brilliant Sun, who never needed to be protected by a wall of ice in the first place.  The Sun is so huge, powerful and amazing that when you let it shine through it’ll easily melt your ego-loo in matter of seconds.  It’s good to know you are free, and that you don’t have to protect the Sun from anything or from anyone anymore. 

”That which is real cannot be threatened.  That which is unreal does not exist.”  ~ A Course in Miracles

To start the ego-loo melting process today, simply do one thing all day long.  Always accept, appreciate, and approve of yourself, no matter what happens!  It is much easier to connect with other people when you are not guarded and protecting anything.  Then and only then can you find peace within.  When you have a sense of wholeness inside you are accessing your true holiness within.  So practice seeing all your imperfections as divine.  Simply love all your parts, and treat yourself with the greatest gentleness and kindness you can fathom!  This my friend is the greatest secret to having a successful intimate connection with anyone at anytime.  When you truly are loving you, then your beloved partner can ONLY mirror this energy back to you.  They have no other choice.

“And this is a miracle: the moment that you realize that there is no way to make a home, then this whole existence is home. Then wherever you are, you are at home.” ~Osho

Self love is by far the greatest and most powerful gift you can give yourself.  Loving yourself is the source of healing, aliveness, and the secret to creating world peace.  When you are loving and accepting yourself just as you are, everyone wants a piece of the action!  You are no longer controlled by your past negative conditioning and are truly liberated to see, feel and experience this divine being that you are!  When you are tapping into your self loving inner world, you are opening the gateway to let the love in from all directions in the outer world.  When you accept the feelings of being complete with yourself on the inside, the world matches that vibration and overflows words of peace and harmony to you.

”I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure
is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

The moment you commit to having an authentic loving accepting relationship with yourself from now on, you become like the richest person in the world!  Everyone wants whatever you’re having for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  There is such a rich juicy energy of life flowing out of you onto everyone, that you’ll find life to be very intimate and juicy everywhere you go.  I’m going to give you a powerful exercise that will help transform your life.  Do it for 30 days and notice how your inner world changes everyday…enjoy!

The Self-Love Exercise

For a few minutes everyday, look gently into your eyes in a mirror.  Look at your eyes with the most soft, open and authentically warm loving energy you can find inside.  As if you were a child caressing a soft fuzzy bunny, let this softness radiate within you.  Then whisper to yourself from your heart, those healing messages that you most want to hear.  Say only what you MOST need to feel and hear.  If you cannot think of what this could be, use these messages below.  Enjoy!I really appreciate you.
You are an amazing person.
You are beautiful on the inside and outside.
You are truly special and unique.
I love and accept everything about you.
I feel so fortunate to get to know you.
I love you exactly the way you are.


Self love is not about buttering up your ego so you’re feeling superior than others.  If you ever feel more cut off or distant from others practicing self love, its your ice cold ego running the show.  When you’re in true self love you feel more relaxed, connected with the world, and truly peaceful inside.  Have fun practicing accepting yourself exactly as you are, just for the pure pleasure of it this month.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easy, fun and rewarding it becomes.

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Sending the most healing loving vibrations way…



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